In Some Other Life
by Helen8462
Summary: It is a special night for Kathryn. One that Mark has been thinking about for quite some time. [Mark x Kathryn, AU, just a hint of JC because I couldn't help myself.]


_**A/N:** There has been a lovely poem going around Tumblr the last few days which I simply could not get out of my head (it's by David Jones, check him out!). I know that there will be J/C inspired stories from it, but I was drawn to the future that Mark and Kathryn could have had... the one that they deserved._

 _This story is for Mia, because she loves Mark x KJ so much that she created a collection for them. And I love her for that._

* * *

 _In some other life_  
 _We are standing_  
 _Side by side and_  
 _Laughing that, in_  
 _Some other life_

 _We are apart._

 _d.j._

* * *

"Friends, if I may have your attention please?"

Standing tall, I clink my knife to the wineglass in my hand.

I steal a glance at her while our guests settle; I feel as if I'm radiating pure joy at this moment. She's blushing, but inwardly I know she feels what I do. And though she's been half-dreading this, she has nothing to fear from my speech. She dabs at her mouth with a napkin and folds her hands in her lap, then returns her attention upwards.

The conversation in the room of some fifty-odd people quiets to a hush and then there is silence. The last of the waitstaff makes their exit with trays of dirty dishes. Once they've gone, all eyes are on me.

I've never been nervous speaking in front of a crowd, but there's something distinctly overwhelming about this setting – our family and friends joined together, Kathryn by my side. Muscle memory brings new life to the butterflies which had lodged themselves in my stomach when I gave my vows all those years ago.

I draw a deep breath and dive in.

"First, I want to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate with us and to offer your congratulations. As you know, this day has been a long time in coming. And this speech is one that I expected to make, oh… what's it been now?" I turn to her, as if I can't remember.

"Twenty-five," she mouths with a smile that she can no longer contain.

"Twenty-five?!" I mock, wide-eyed. My theatrics are rewarded with laughter from the room. "Is that right?" I ask them all - to which they nod, clap, and whoop in agreement.

"Can you believe it's been a quarter-century I've been trying to get her to accept that little gold dot?"

"To be fair," she pipes up, rising slightly, "he didn't try all that hard."

I acquiesce while the crowd chuckles.

"Twenty-five years ago, this month actually, Starfleet first offered Kathryn Janeway her own command. And twenty-five years ago, she declined without a second thought." I pause. "Well… okay, maybe she had a couple of second thoughts..."

"Just a couple," she agrees, smiling next to me.

"Every year since that first offer she's been hounded – _mercilessly_ – by the powers that be. It must have been damn near every admiral in Starfleet who tried to stick that pip on her collar, and each one with their own special way of going about it. We've had them calling at all hours, corralling her in meetings and briefings, tempting her with personal tours of the new vessels... I'm surprised they didn't break in to pin it on her while she slept!"

She's shaking her head, trying to downplay just how severely she's been recruited through the years. But she and I both know that there were times she was all but threatened into that center seat – times when I really didn't expect her to decline yet again. But…

"Every single time, she has told them _no_. That her family comes first. That she won't split her loyalties between us," I motion to the others at our small table, "and command."

"Well. Our children are grown, embarking on careers of their own now." I nod to our younger one - who looks just like her mother sitting there by her side - and the older, a spitting image of my own father. My daughter places a hand on her mother's shoulder and gives her a squeeze.

"That ship, you know the one my wife has been petitioning for, and working on day and night for the last ten years? She's finally done. She's beautiful, capable, and strong, just like her maker. And they are both just itching for the long-overdue adventure that awaits."

I turn to address her and only her now, this will be the hardest part by far. "Kath. You are the love of my life..." I take just a moment and in return she clasps my hand. There, I find strength. "… Mother of my children, the one whom I cannot live without. I am so very humbled that you chose to fulfill my dream of our life together, while waiting so patiently on that most important dream of your own."

She nods quietly and I feel her love permeate into my very soul. There is more to be said here, between only us. But most everything has been expressed a thousand times over and so I will spare the audience our most personal of sentiments.

Our children, our friends, they're all grinning like fools, the air is electric around me and I raise my glass high.

"To _La Recherche,_ and her newly minted Captain, my dear Kathryn. Take her out, and then bring her home."

"Hear, hear!" the guests cheer. Glasses clink and then a chorus begins to chant, "Speech, speech, speech!"

She rises reluctantly as I take to my seat. Everyone quiets quickly once again.

"Ah, that wasn't nearly as bad as I had feared," she begins, then as an aside she adds, "You never know if a philosopher is going to wax poetic about the meaning of life before he gives you the floor."

Everyone laughs, now it's my turn to blush.

"I guess that I'd also like to say thank you for coming tonight, each and every one of you has a special place in our hearts," she says, then she turns to me. "But most of all, thank you, husband, for encouraging me and standing by my side all of these years. The very chance of a day like today would have died a long time ago had it not been for you. You took my dream and made it your own, for that I'm eternally grateful."

She turns back to the crowd. "And I have a favor to ask, if I may. Please, my dearest friends, my children," she gives a matronly glare to the two of them. "Take care of this poor bachelor for me. Check in on him from time to time. Make sure he hasn't fallen down or forgotten to turn off the bath." Everyone laughs again as I shake my head. "Of course, you won't have to see that he's eating well because without me around to burn dinner, I'm sure he'll be gaining a few pounds!" She pats my shoulder and I throw my head back, knowing this is absolutely going to be the truth.

"Seriously though, thank you all and please, enjoy the rest of the evening."

* * *

The party is quickly fading away as the last of our guests bid their goodbyes. In the corner, my children have gathered around their mother while their respective dates – I don't dare call them significant others just yet – wait awkwardly by the door. She hugs them both and kisses them in turn, then sends them out into the night.

At the bar I pour the last of a bottle of champagne into two flutes.

"I think that went rather well, don't you?" I ask, approaching her.

Her silver hair and crimson dress are accentuated in the lamplight as she motions for me to join her by the windows. "Twenty-five years," she says, shaking her head. "Where did the time go?"

"I think you saw a lot of where it went tonight," I remind, thinking of our closest friends and family whom we have cherished so well. I hand her one of the glasses. "Are you ready for something new?"

"I am. To be honest, I'm thrilled. But I don't regret it, you know, turning down that first command. And it certainly was the first offer that was the hardest to decline," she recalls, looking down to the bubbles in her drink. "If I'd taken that posting on the _Billings_ , I would have been away for almost a year. I'm not sure if our relationship would have withstood that kind of separation so early on."

"I don't think you give us enough credit." I sip thoughtfully. "Though you might be right. The war started shortly after, you'd have been called to the front lines…" A lot of good people died in that horrible war; I think about it now and then, about how she narrowly escaped duty due to her pregnancy. Still, I don't dare give a voice to such morbid thoughts.

"You know, the funny thing is, I can almost picture it…" she stares out into the night sky, "the life I could have had if I'd taken that command and delayed marrying you."

"Oh?"

"Sure. I'd have been out at the farthest reaches of the galaxy in some fancy ship. Exploring the great unknown, leading good people on noble adventures."

"And you don't regret having given that up?"

She laughs. "I've had plenty of adventures here. Besides, I'm getting my chance now."

"Safely," I remind. "Please, always safely."

" _Recherché_ and I will remain be close by," she reminds me. "No more than a few months at a time, you know that."

"I do."

"And you're welcome to come with me at any point."

"I will, certainly, but not yet," I say. "You need this time to adjust to your new crew, your new responsibilities. I will always be here waiting for when you get back. Besides, I still have a few students I want to see through to graduation. After that, we'll roam the stars together until they're begging you to retire."

She agrees with a quiet sigh. But then, there's a nagging thought. Philosopher that I am, I feel the need to investigate the what-ifs and I know she'll indulge me as she always has.

"Tell me more about what our lives would have been like if we'd gone our separate ways decades ago."

"Ah, well, I'd have been a captain, obviously… out for years, making the most marvelous discoveries, negotiating peace, defending freedom." She relaxes back, closes her eyes and continues narrating her daydream. "And along the way I'm sure I would have fallen head over heels for some tall, dark and handsome man. He'd have been brave and strong… a contrarian, challenging me at every turn, bothering me in all the right ways. Not at all like you." She jabs at me but I know it's in jest.

"Hey now, I'm tall," I counter. "And I do bother you."

"You are, and you do," she agrees with a grin.

"So would this be an officer under your command that you've seduced?" I speculate wildly, knowing how very unlikely that would be.

She laughs. "Oh yes, it would have been a scandalous affair."

"Lovely. Remind me to check your crew manifest before you leave," I exaggerate. "And what about me? Was my future without you as generous?"

"Sorry, you'd have been a bachelor for life," she says matter-of-factly.

I gasp, feigning my dismay. "Am I that unlovable?"

"You're that hard to live with," she states, then she softens. "Actually, I just can't bear the thought of you with anyone else. So in my mind, without me you're forever single."

"Well, I'm certainly glad that didn't come to pass."

"As am I."

"Shall we toast then, just us?" I ask, raising my nearly empty flute a final time.

"To all of the other lives we never knew," she offers.

Before we clink our glasses together, I draw her close. Breathing in the scent of her is inevitable, as is relishing in the feel of my arm around her waist. Our eyes meet in an extended moment before I capture her lips with mine. She tastes as sweet as she always has.

When we part, I finish the salute.

"And to the one we've loved so well."

* * *

 ** _End Notes:_** _All my thanks to Klugtiger for her quick and very helpful beta. I edited after she returned it, so any mistakes are mine._

 _La Recherche is an original ship first used in the story "'He'd Pity You'" by Caladenia, part of the Counterpoint Vignettes. Now that AU has an AU, I suppose..._


End file.
